The Platypus of Hook Dae Moon
by Xenasu-13
Summary: When a mad scientist builds a weapon for the North Koreans; one platypus, with a little help, must capture the scientist and destroy the weapon. Rated T for language and violence.


**The Platypus of Hook Dae Moon**

* * *

_Danville, United States  
__1529 hours local; 02 September 2009_

In the suburbs of Danville, there is a green furred platypus named Perry. He was lying on the couch in his owners' home.

Perry the platypus is the pet of the Flynn-Fletcher family. However, what his owners don't know is that he's actually a member of The **O**rganization **W**ithout a **C**ool **A**cronym, a.k.a. OWCA, one of the many covert agencies of the government. This agency uses mostly animal agents to discretely combat whatever the government considers a threat.

Soon, the OWCA contacts Perry. First, Perry has to make sure no one sees him. The two youngest brothers, Phineas and Ferb, are building a star fighter. Candace, the eldest sister, is trying to bust them. And the parents are no where to be found. Perfect.

Perry jumped up and pulled a fedora out nowhere and put it on; becoming Agent P. He pulled open a secret hatch by a lamp stand and went fell into his lair. There are many advanced prototype and experimental weapons, not that he uses them; the government just can't fit it anywhere else. In the middle of the lair is a large plasma screen. When Perry approached the screen, the screen flickered to life and a man in his middle ages with white hair and a moustache appeared on the screen.

His name is Major Monogram and he's Perry's superior and a high ranked officer in OWCA. He gives all his agents missions against various terrorist groups.

"Agent P," Major Monogram said, "Dr. Doofenschmirtz has allied himself with the Korean People's Army, take a look."

An image of Dr. Doofenschmirtz being given a noogie by General Choi Song, the one who led the military against the North Korean, and possibly killed his father, President Choi Kim.

General Song had slicked back black hair and wore brown, decorated military clothes. Dr. Doofenschmirtz had patchy brown hair and wore a white scientist coat over a black shirt with green pants.

"We will send you to Ichon Air Base, where one of those CIA jerks, Agent Mitchell Buford, will brief you more on your mission. Major Monogram out."

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_Ichon Air Base, North Korea  
__0749 hours local; 04 September 2009_

Perry stepped out of an OWCA private plane and rubbed his eyes. Agent Mitchell Buford approached him. Mitchell Buford had thinning hair and a white button shirt and trousers with suspenders.

"So, you must be the platypus those OWCA jerks told me about, welcome to North Korea."

Perry looked around; the Republic of Korea's Army was all over the place. In the distance, Perry can hear gunfire and explosions.

"Listen," Buford continued, "all you should worry about is this crazed, son of a bitch doctor of yours, and my intel tells me he's behind Hook Dae Moon a.k.a. The Black Gate. And to help you, another of your 'agents' came here to. Meet Agent C."

Agent C, a red crowned crane, landed right next to them; kicking up dust and cracking the asphalt. Agent C wore a fedora similar to Perry's.

"Also, one of my helicopter pilots, Wipeout, will gladly pick up any HVTs; that's a **H**igh **V**alue **T**arget, you happen to capture."

Buford gestured at Wipeout, who had a helmet with a visor over his face and had a design similar to an orca. Then Wipeout began break dancing. Buford, Perry, and Agent C raised an eye brow at him.

"And if things get too hot for ya," Buford continued, ignoring Wipeout, "I have a squad of 707th Special Missions Commandos on backup."

Both Perry and Agent C calmly took in the information.

"Now go kick ass."

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_Hook Dae Moon  
__0807 hours local; 04 September 2009_

A KPA soldier wearing a brown uniform sat in a ZSU-57-2 anti-air vehicle armed with twin 57mm auto cannons. He was scanning the skies for enemy aircraft, but instead he saw a red-crowned crane carrying a platypus, both wearing fedoras. The soldier looked at the orders the German scientist gave him. _Shoot any animals with fedoras_.

He sounded an alarm and all the anti-air soldiers started firing at Agent C and Perry. Agent C dipped down, flying less than 15 feet above the ground. Ahead was The Black Gate, a 25 foot tall wall. The guards on top fired their AK-47s and RPG-7s at them. Agent C pulled up at the last second and flew vertically up and over the wall.

On the other side of the wall, soldiers poured out of the barracks and started firing at the two OWCA agents. Agent C dodged left and right, avoiding the projectiles. Perry saw an M-1978 (KOKSAN) artillery in the mountain side with a clear view of the Gate.

Perry steered Agent C towards the M-1978 and when they were right on top of it, Agent C dropped Perry onto the soldier manning the artillery. Perry hit the soldier with both of his feet, and the soldier fell off the platform and onto the ground.

Perry got on the artillery controls and aimed it at The Gate and fired. The shell flew through the air and hit the steal door at the bottom. At first, it seemed that it had no affect, but then the steal door fell forward; allowing entry for the South Koreans.

Agent C then picked up Perry and carried him across the chasm to the North Korean Fortress.

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_NK Fortress, North Korea  
__0811 hours local; 04 September 2009 _

On the northern side of the NK Fortress, on top of a plateau in the mountainous region; Dr. Doofenschmirtz stood in front of his newly invented weapon, and his translator, Leo, who had short black hair and wore glasses, stood next to him. A KPA soldier approached the two and said something in Korean.

"Leo," Dr. Doofenschmirtz asked, "what did he say?"

"He said that a red-crowned crane and a platypus got through The Black Gate."

"A platypus? Are they wearing fedoras?" Dr. Doofenschmirtz asked.

Leo asked the soldier in Korean then responded, "Yes… Do you want us to raise an alarm?"

"Yes, please."

Suddenly, Perry dropped down right next to them and got into a karate pose.

"Perry the Platypus!" screamed Dr. Doofenschmirtz in surprise.

Then Agent C landed right next to Perry and got into a Fujian White Crane pose.

"Cray the Crane!" screamed Leo in surprise.

"So, you two think you caught us off guard, huh?" asked Dr. Doofenschmirtz, "Well, you thought wrong!"

Suddenly, two KPA soldiers fired nets at the agents, trapping both of them.

"Now, you may be wondering why I'm working with the North Koreans, Perry the Platypus. You see, they asked me to build weapons for them because, you know, their weapons suppliers always seem to get themselves killed, so I decided to use this for my own gain. I give you…"

"Whoa, wait," Leo interrupted, "are you sure you want to tell them about our weapon?"

"Of course," responded Dr. Doofenschmirtz, "I give you the Type-07 Super Stink Bombinator. You see my toilet at my house got backed up and now it's really stinky. But now with the Type-07 Super Stink Bombinator, I can stink up everyone else's homes. I could've just got a plumber to fix it, but, you know the bills and always attacked by Moombas…"

"Don't you mean Goombas?" Leo asked.

"I'm not really sure, let's check later on the internet," said Dr. Doofenschmirtz, "Well; anyway I built this weapon from the remains of the North Korean Type-07 Supergun. Well; I guess that's it."

One of the KPA soldiers asked something in Korean, then Leo translated, "Can we kill them now?"

"No, of course not," Dr. Doofenschmirtz answered, "they're our nemeses, right?"

"My thought exactly," said Leo. Then he told the soldiers to lock the two agents up.

The two soldiers picked up Perry and Agent C a.k.a. Cray and slung the platypus and the red-crowned crane over their shoulders. They passed by the Type-07 Super  
Stink Bombinator, the cannon that can stink up a small town. They approached a parked BMP-1 infantry fighting vehicle and opened up the back. They threw Perry and Cray inside, and one of the soldiers sat right next to them to keep watch.

The other soldier got in the driver's seat and the BMP-1 rumbled to life. The IFV drove off. The KPA soldier said something in Korean to Perry and Cray. Neither knew what he said, but he was most likely called them something that rhymes with 'buck.' The KPA soldier laughed and smacked the butt of his AK-47 on Cray.

The soldier set his rifle down and got out a cigarette. Cray used this moment to use the dart gun in his anklet to knock out the KPA soldier. The soldier slumped over, and Perry used a saw hidden in his hat to cut through the net. Once they were free, Perry snuck over to the driver and hit him in a nerve point, knocking him out.

Perry got control over the BMP-1 and turned it around. Cray sent out a signal to the ROKA for reinforcements. The other KPA soldiers didn't know what was going on and thought the BMP-1 is just being called back. The IFV had reached the chasm and was about to cross the bridge. Perry drove the IFV back up the hill to the plateau.

Back on the plateau, Dr. Doofenschmirtz was trying to figure out how to get inside the Super Stink Bombinator.

"Didn't you build like a ladder to get inside this thing?" Leo asked.

"Well, it just didn't cross my mind," said Dr. Doofenschmirtz, "Hey, isn't that the BMP-1 that we threw Perry the Platypus and Cray the Crane in."

Dr. Doofenschmirtz pointed at the BMP-1 coming up the hill. Then the IFV fired at a group of parked scout jeeps. The jeeps were engulfed by flames; smoldering pieces of debris and the wreckage of one of the jeeps, along with a few KPA soldiers, flew through the air.

"Fire on that BMP-1!" Dr. Doofenschmirtz yelled. Leo told the KPA soldiers to do so. A KPA soldier armed with an RPG-7 fired at the IFV. The rocket hit the ground right next the BMP-1, and Perry in the APC fired at the KPA soldier and the soldier got knocked off his feet and fell motionless onto the ground. A Mil Mi-24 attack helicopter got into the air and fired an anti-tank missile at the BMP-1.

When Perry and Cray saw the missile, they jumped out of the BMP-1 and dived for cover. The missile hit the APC and the main body jumped about 5 feet into the air due of the force of the explosion.

Then the Mil Mi-24 used its mounted machine gun to fire on the OWCA agents. Perry took cover behind some rocks and Cray took flight. Cray perched on top of the 50 foot long barrel of the Stink Bombinator and ran quickly along the barrel. Two engineers on top of the gun fired at Cray with their Makarov 7 pistols. Cray jumped up and the 9mm bullets sparked against the huge gun barrel. He flew right up to one of the engineers and knocked him off the Stink Bombinator. Cray turned to the other engineer and knocked him off too.

The Mil Mi-24 fired its machine gun at Cray and hit grazed his right wing. He had a difficult time flying down the Stink Bombinator. He landed hard on the ground and Leo appeared with an RPG-7 rocket launcher.

"You know," smirked Leo, "I'm actually glad to finally get rid of you."

He fired the rocket and it hit Cray squarely in the chest. The rocket carried Cray for about two seconds through the air, and then it detonated.

Perry tried to keep the large rocks in between himself and the Mil Mi-24's machine gun. A KPA soldier ran towards Perry with his AK-47 and Perry through his fedora like a boomerang. The fedora hit the soldier right in the face and he fell over on his back. Perry caught his fedora as it came back. The Mil Mi-24 came around for another attack.

Suddenly a missile came out of nowhere and hit the Mil Mi-24. The helicopter began smoking and started spinning out of control. The Mil Mi-24 then crashed into a near by watch tower. The watch tower toppled over and Perry saw the soldier on the watch tower fall with it.

Perry looked for where the missile came from and saw a blue/gray humvee with the Republic of Korea's flag on its side. It was equipped with an anti-air missile launcher manned by a female soldier wearing all black. The humvee stopped and the gunner and three more female soldiers got out armed with silenced MP5s, one had a K11, and another one had an American FGM-172 SRAW anti-tank. Perry knew they must be the 707th ROKA Special Missions Commandos. The humvee back down the hill, probably back to the main ROKA strike force.

The four 707th Commandos began firing at the KPA soldiers that surrounded them. One of the 707th got shot in the chest and fell motionless. Another with the anti-tank got shot in the arm and in the head. One of the two surviving 707th got the anti-tank and fired at a watch tower. The KPA soldier on the tower disappeared in the cloud of flames and concrete and the two soldiers nearby got knocked off their feet.

Dr. Doofenschmirtz hid behind a concrete wall and Perry ran towards him.

"Now, now, Perry the Platypus let's not get hasty."

Perry and Doofenschmirtz began fighting in hand-to-hand combat. Doofenschmirtz tried hitting Perry with a flurry of punches, but Perry blocked all of his punches. Perry then countered by kicking Doofenschmirtz on the chin. Doofenschmirtz wiped a trickle of blood off his lower lip. When he tried punching Perry again, he grabbed Doofenschmirtz's arm and brought it around to his back and handcuffed him, and then knocked him down.

Perry threw a smoke signal to call in Wipeout helicopter pilot. Two soldiers appeared behind Perry and he picked up a Makarov pistol and fired two shots and the KPA soldiers fell forward and clutched their shot knees.

Perry then heard the beating of helicopter rotors and saw a UH-60 Black Hawk with a blue/gray camouflage scheme. Perry dragged Doofenschmirtz towards the helicopter. The two 707th Commandos ran towards the UH-60 too. As Perry pulled Doofenschmirtz into the helicopter, one of the 707th got shot in the leg and the other pulled her up, while firing her K11 at the KPA soldiers.

Once Perry, Doofenschmirtz, and the two 707th were in the helicopter, Wipeout brought the helicopter up and flew towards the Ichon Air Base.

As they flew away from the Type-07 Super Stink Bombinator, a B-52 Stratofortress carpet bombed the area. The main body of the Stink Bombinator burst in flames; the 50 foot long barrel collapsed onto the surviving soldiers below. Leo stood still as the soldiers around him ran for cover, watching the flames coming to swallow him.

"You know, Perry the Platypus," said Doofenschmirtz, "there is one other invention I forgot to tell you about. My Mini Explosionator!"

Doofenschmirtz got out a small devise from his back pocket and pointed it at the cockpit and pressed a button. Wipeout suddenly disappeared in flames and smoke. The force of the explosion sent Perry and Doofenschmirtz onto the 707th Commandos, with Doofenschmirtz's face in one of their breasts.

The 707th kicked him off, and Perry then kicked him out of the helicopter.

"CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!" Doofenschmirtz screamed as he fell and then plopped into a pool of mud. When he got up, he saw General Song with some mud on his uniform. He gave himself a face palm and shook his head.

"Get out of my country," General Song muttered.

As the helicopter spun out of control, Perry jumped out and landed on the barrel of the M-1978 (KOKSAN) artillery he used to blast open the gate. The UH-60 Black Hawk crashed into one of the barracks and a plume of smoke rose into the sky. Perry saw that Agent Buford and the South Korean forces had taken control of most of Hook Dae Moon. He slid down the slope and met with Buford.

"Well done, platypus," he said, "how about we give you a ride back to Ichon and your superior will have a word with you."

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_Ichon Air Base, North Korea  
__0903 hours local; 04 September 2009_

"Well done, Agent P," Major Monogram said on the monitor, "Dr. Doofenschmirtz got chased out of North Korea all thanks to you. Now, Agent Buford was about to pay you twenty grand, but we convinced him to lend it to us."

Perry raised his hand and opened his mouth, but Major Monogram interrupted, "We will now bring you back state side. Major Monogram out."

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_Danville, United States  
__2012 hours local; 07 September 2009_

As Phineas got ready for bed and the new school year, he asked Ferb, "Hey, have you seen Perry? Oh, there he is."

Perry simply chattered and when Phineas and Ferb went to sleep, Perry jumped up and went into his lair for his next mission.

**The End**

* * *

_Phineas and Ferb_ and related characters belongs to Disney

_Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction_ and related characters belongs to Pandemic Studios

Wipeout is a reference to the character of the same name in the show _Stoked_ which belongs to Teletoon.


End file.
